I am a sentimental person, so anniversaries are pretty special to me. Today marks one year since we found out I was going to give birth to a baby girl. I will admit, one year ago in the doctors office when they told us, Colby and I were both shocked.

All the old wives tales made it seem like I was growing a little baby boy in my tummy. I did not have bad morning sickness. I was carrying pretty low. We both felt so certain that we were going to be raising a little boy.

When the nurse pointed at the screen and said “looks like it’s a girl” we were mind blown. A couple minutes after the big reveal, she asked if we were expecting that and we answered “not really” to which she replied “I could tell.”

I didn’t know what to think. When the nurse left the room, I was so stressed out. “We don’t even have a name picked out for a girl. I’m going to have to learn how to do hair. I don’t know how to do hair! I can’t deal with all the bows and accessories.” I felt overwhelmed with the thought of pink bows strangling me to death.

Turns out, I love finding the perfect bow to match Remi’s outfit. It is quite exhilarating so I’m not sure what I was so worried about.

After our appointment that day, I remember walking into Target to find some house decorations. I walked right past the teen girl clothing and just about cried because it seemed like there wasn’t a modest item in the whole section. All I saw were crop tops and cut-off shorts. I felt overwhelmed again at thinking of how I would teach my daughter to dress modestly when they just don’t make shirts that cover a belly button anymore.

I just believed having a boy would be so much easier. And I questioned God because this was not what I was expecting.

When I first found out I was pregnant, we picked a verse to pray over the baby in my tummy. The verses we picked was Isaiah 43:1-2:

“Now this is what the Lord says- the one who created you, Jacob, and the one who formed you, Israel- ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and the rivers will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, and the flame will not burn you.'”

While it was a shock to me, there are no surprises to God. He knew exactly what He was doing. He knew the fears I had for motherhood, but that verse reminded me that He would be with me in the struggle.

I thought God put those verses on my heart for the baby that was growing inside of me. I imagined repeating the verse over and over to help our child calm down or just remember that God is with them.

God ended up using that verse for me. In the surprise of what my life would look like with a baby girl, God told me that He had prepared me for it. And He will be with me every step of the way. It was not just a verse for my child, it was a verse God picked out for me. To quell the fears of not being an adequate mother or not knowing how to French braid my daughters hair.

Motherhood and raising a daughter still gets scary one year later. But I know that God prepared me for this. He made the perfect baby girl in from my body and He made me the only one who can be her mother. That is not a title I take lightly.

The minute Remi came into the world, the fear of motherhood vanished. The fear of being a girl mom disappeared. It was me and my darling baby girl (and my loving husband) together in that moment. No fear just love. I knew that God had planned it perfectly. She was beautiful and perfect just for me and Colby.

This sweet, joyful girl is everything I could have asked for. She is the best thing that has happened to us. Like I said earlier, God knew what He was doing. I can see that now.