This morning I woke up to a thundering, rainy sky and started my typical routine. Got the oven preheated and started the coffee before I sat down to read my Bible. I make the coffee most mornings because I think my husband doesn’t make it strong enough. And I have given him my critiques of his coffee making ability and he has listened and altered his strategy, but I still just like to make it.
I don’t know if it was because I didn’t sleep well last night or what, but as I was scooping the coffee into its filter, I put two full scoops. We usually just do one scoop. It was too late by the time I realized the mistake I had made, so I figured it couldn’t make THAT much of a difference anyways.
When I poured my husband a steaming cup of coffee, he took a sip and choked a little. “It’s a little strong. It kinda tastes like diesel fuel.”
Noted. Two scoops of coffee is way too strong. It wasn’t just my husband that could taste it. I felt so jittery and wired all morning. It was that type of caffeination that makes it feel hard to take a deep breath. Is that a real thing or should I maybe talk to my doctor about that?
Anyway, that much caffeine in my system makes me hyper emotional. So not only am I bouncing around all day because I can not sit still, but I am also a little more on edge. Probably not the best combination. Then let’s factor in the realization that I only have one more month staying at home before I start a new job.
Fear set in quick today.
I talked with some of my future coworkers today and it really hit me hard that I am going back into “the real world”. I mean I am excited about this new opportunity, but it is a little intimidating, especially when I have enjoyed being home so much. Not to mention, I am going to miss spending so much time with my baby girl.
The spiral of fear began to form in my mind of all that could go wrong and all that I could miss out on. I began to worry about every impossible scenario. My body slowly started sinking into that cold, dark pit called despair. I tried to reason with myself that it would all be okay.
Then I took a deep breath, and asked God for peace. I asked God for forgiveness for the ridiculous spiral I was sliding down like a kid at waterpark. I asked for the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
Just like that, I felt peace. The peace just rested on my shoulders and sunk into the rest of my body. He was there. God met me right there. He slowed my mind and told me I would be alright. He reminded me this opportunity was put into place by him.
I can not remember that last time I stopped a spiral from happening. Usually it is an all out war in my mind that tends to come to the surface as anger or sadness. Today, I could feel the wave of emotions ready to crash into me. I heard the battle cries of all the sinful thoughts in my mind ready to attack, but before they could swing their weapons, they were silenced.
Not by me, let me make that clear. The silencing came from God. But in the moment where I didn’t really feel like I could ask for the right thing, the little bits of scripture that have buried themselves in the depths of my brain came crawling out for comfort.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
That little verse popped in my head at the very moment I was praying for peace. And those words are better than anything my mind could come up with. That is the peace I needed today, and God brought it to me in that very moment.
On a day when I am over caffeinated and my brain is running a million miles a second, the enemy tries his best to take advantage it. When fear tries to take control of my thoughts, sometimes my words are not enough. Sometimes my jittery little brain can’t put a sentence together. That is why knowing God’s word is so important. Hiding it in your heart and mind, so when your own words fail you, God’s word comes to the rescue.
The peace the Lord provides truly is beyond comprehension. I don’t know what else could have eased my mind today. Not a nap. Not a walk. Definitely not more caffeine. But God’s word did. Even in a heightened emotional state, the peace of the Lord prevails.
But, I might let my husband make the coffee tomorrow.